actually, I'm a sock model
My room smells like vodka and shame
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
