If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
