so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
