I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
