There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
try to milk me bitch
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