Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize