My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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