i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
