I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
