dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
