Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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