shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
