The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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