I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
