I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
