Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
