I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
