Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
