I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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