he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
