I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
that's an acceptable place to lick
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
