i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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