What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If I die, sorry about rent.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize