By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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