I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize