You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
