THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
