im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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