you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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