Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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