I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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