I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
