and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
