yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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