Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
