A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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