I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
