No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
