we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
