I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the day after is always just damage control
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
