You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
