found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
