found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
