I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
