I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hippo gnu deer
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
