what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
