But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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