proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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