I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
