tell your sister to shave her snatch
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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