dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
