You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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