Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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