Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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