We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My bed smells like the plague
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
