She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize