we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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